Don't misunderstand my reflections as loathing!

Admittedly, I get jealous when I see pictures of, and read stories about, gay couples who've been together for twenty, thirty, forty years and more.  "Couldn't that have happened for me?" I've thought.  

I know there's no way to re-do history, and no way to know just what would have happened if anything had been different.  But, I will not shy away from fantasizing about it.  Sometimes, doing that stirs a bit of rage inside of me.  Most of the time, however, it stirs a lot of joy. Those romantic dreams that I began having, and enjoying, so long ago still live, and I am glad that they do.  

I'll be sixty years old in less than five years.  I enjoy many pleasant memories.  I won't complain!  I won't regret!  Besides, Wow! What a ride life has been!  But, yes, I'll reflect and fantasize!  I'll dream on!